we forgot what we wanted, we became what we become
by wafflelate
Summary: It's been a long, long road back to Kirigakure. Nara Shikako kinda helped a lot. Canon compliant with Silver Queen's Dreaming of Sunshine, and written for SQ's birthday!
1. we forgot what we wanted

A/N: Happy birthday SQ! This is the work i wrote for our vague theme and I had a hell of a good time. I didn't have time to do the intense canon review that I usually do or ask you a bunch of inexplicably detailed questions, so apologies if I've contradicted DoS or skimmed over any important details.

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* * *

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 **we forgot what we wanted**

Because every word I carry is another stone to put into place in the foundation that I'm building  
Because the days can erase something that I never saw  
What all of us wanted and what none of us got  
What we all had and have and what we all forgot  
— " _Here I Am" by Anis Mojgani_

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* * *

.

In Wave, Haku asks: "Do you have someone important to you?"

He has recently seen this blond haired boy and his two teammates defended by their sensei. Even more notably, the jōnin had been protected by his students, and they had done it against overwhelming odds, against all logic, against _orders_. Maybe they were simply motivated by the promise of dire consequences if they were to return to the village with their sensei dead and their mission failed — Haku doesn't know much about how Leaf works — but he suspects (hopes?) that their motivation was... something else.

Haku doesn't think the vague fear of future consequences could really overpower the immediate terror of facing an enemy like Momochi Zabuza.

The whole Leaf team had struck him as strange. Zabuza-sama hadn't seemed to think so, but the jōnin-sensei, Hatake, had ordered his genin to stay out of the fight even when he himself was incapacitated. Had ordered the girl to take the other two and run, but the genin had attacked instead.

Fairly early in Haku's training, before he'd been skilled enough to accompany Zabuza on missions, a group of Mist hunter-nin found Zabuza just as he returned from a mission. Haku had been hiding, heart in his throat, staying out of a fight he had no place in, watching his shishō enter the fight exhausted and proceed towards its inevitable conclusion with the single-minded intent to kill as many hunter-nin as possible and die rather than be captured.

("You never want to to go to Kiri T&I," Zabuza had told Haku. "They like to take people apart and rearrange them." It had taken Haku awhile to understand that his teacher didn't mean _physically_.)

When one of the hunter-nin had caught Zabuza in a jutsu, Zabuza had said, "Do it!" and the hunter-nin had probably thought that Zabuza meant _Kill me now, finish the job_. But Haku had understood his shishō clearly — really, Zabuza-sama had meant, _Haku, earn your keep! Enter the fight!_

It would have been easy to run away. It had been terrifying to start his jutsu. But at the same time, in that moment, Haku had felt that he could do anything it took to save Zabuza's life. Including attacking, including dying, including killing a man for the first time.

Had the Leaf genin felt that for their sensei, when facing Zabuza? Had their sensei felt that way for _them?_ Is it possible that other shinobi feel what Haku feels, or is his soft heart and sentimental motivation a singular, anomalous occurrence?

"What?" asks the Leaf genin. Naruto, his name is Naruto.

Haku hasn't done a very good job leading the conversation. Maybe the cultural gap is too much, or maybe Haku is just grasping at straws. But right now Haku is a civilian to Naruto, not a fellow ninja, so there's no harm in outright stating what he believes, surely. Playing a civilian has always allowed Haku a certain measure of truth to his actions and words.

"When a person has something truly important to protect... That's when they can truly become strong," Haku says.

This appears to hit Naruto like an A-rank jutsu.

" _Oh_ ," says Naruto. And then he's beaming at Haku. A better smile than before, like the sun coming out. "Yeah! Sensei says... you can't put yourself above your teammates. You gotta care more about getting the whole team through the mission than you care about getting just you through the mission. And the Hokage's gotta be like that, too, except for the whole village. And once I'm the strongest, that's what I'll do!"

Haku smiles back, he can't help it, but then he has to stand and turn to leave. Unbidden, the urge tell Naruto to take his team and leave Wave has risen in Haku, lurks at the back of his throat bitter and acidic, like vomit. Zabuza is going to kill Hatake Kakashi. Zabuza is going to want to use Haku as his tool to kill Hatake Kakashi's students. And Haku can't trust that the genin will run away, save themselves, spare him having to kill them — no, they'll go down with their sensei, either trying to save him or trying to avenge him.

Exactly the way Haku would for Zabuza-sama.

"You will become strong," Haku tells Naruto. "Let's meet again somewhere."

.

* * *

.

In Wave, Gatō orders: "Kill the bridge workers, too."

Zabuza doesn't think twice about it. If the man wants to add a couple more civilians to the list, fine. It won't even be hard and they need his shipping company's cooperation.

But Haku — Zabuza has been soft with Haku. Has allowed Haku to _be_ soft.

"I don't want to kill the bridge workers," he tells Zabuza from behind the Kiri hunter-nin mask he'd gotten from his first human kill. "It isn't necessary."

"It's the mission," Zabuza says. "That makes it necessary."

They travel in silence for several minutes. Zabuza thinks the conversation over — that's usually where it ends, with Haku's token protest. He's been much the same in the past about theft, about intimidation, about all kinds of things.

Then the bridge comes into view. Men call out morning greetings to each other. He and Haku perch up on one of the cranes to watch and wait as the men arrive. No use taking them out until everyone's arrived.

"The blond genin," Haku says. "I met him in the woods. Gathering herbs. He helped me."

"Great," Zabuza says. "Take a minute to say thanks before you stab him, then. Or just keep your mask on, I don't care."

"His name is Naruto," Haku continues, like Zabuza hasn't just shut the conversation down

"Oh, did you exchange addresses? Are you going to be penpals? That'll be hard since he'll be dead."

Haku takes the mask off, and looks at Zabuza. Which Zabuza hates. He's got such a stupidly expressive face, because he's never had to hide his emotions from comrades. It's much harder to order Haku around when Haku is _looking_ at him.

"Zabuza-sama, we'll lose against the Leaf nin." He pauses, looks down in the way he does when he's remembering something. "They have conviction, and we have... orders. From that disgusting man."

That just pisses Zabuza off. He knows that Haku's heart doesn't lie with Kiri the way his own does, but Haku has professed a desire to settle there, when the rebellion wins, and not be a missing-nin anymore.

"Don't talk to me about conviction," Zabuza tells him. "Mei needs us to do this shit."

"But does she need us to do it in this way, shishō? They're children." Haku's lips purse. "You told me the rebellion was about changing things. Protecting—"

"—We don't fucking have time for this, Haku," Zabuza says. "Get to work."

Haku puts his mask on and gets to work. Zabuza doesn't realize until later that he's only knocked the men out. That he won't kill the Leaf genin. That Haku had as much as told him that he'd be throwing the fight.

.

* * *

.

In Wave, Shikako says: "Shadow Paralysis complete."

Haku finds that he can't move. Nara Shikako closes the distance between them fast; her sensei aims for Zabuza. When Shikako hits him, she pins him with her knees as well as her jutsu. She holds the kunai she's so recently picked back up to his throat. He admires how steady it is, how she's calmed herself from the emotional upheaval of seeing her teammate go down and settled into combat.

He'd thought for sure that Naruto would be the one to kill him, but he can see that Shikako has conviction, too

"Sasuke isn't dead, is he?" Shikako asks him. "You used the same needle trick you used on Zabuza on him, didn't you?" She speaks low and fast and urgently and her voice is not as steady as her hand or her jutsu.

Of course Sasuke isn't dead. Killing one of Hatake's students would only doom Zabuza-sama. Leaving them alive... Zabuza will have a chance at retreat. The possibility that Hatake might let him get away.

Like Zabuza said, Haku is too soft. He's useless, really, for Zabuza's purposes.

"If I say no, will you kill me?" Haku asks.

The certainty of death now would be preferable to the uncertainty of what will happen if he and Zabuza manage to escape — and either would be better than whatever Leaf T&I can do.

"No," Shikako says after a pause where she looks at him like he's told her his entire life story with just one question. "But I'll probably cry."

Haku wonders what Leaf is like, that she can admit that so openly, where her sensei will certainly hear. And he continues to wonder, even as their employer betrays them. Even as Shikako says, "Well, in that case," and puts her kunai away and lets Haku go.

She offers him her hand and he takes it. Lets her haul him up off the rough deck of the bridge, back to his feet, standing with her like he's one of her teammates now.

.

* * *

.

In Wave, Zabuza says: "That Nara girl..."

They've just left the Konoha team behind, parting on probably the best terms Zabuza has ever been on with foreign ninja. The air between him and Haku is much more tense — Haku has said nothing to him and he's said nothing to Haku since before the Nara caught them in her damn clan technique.

But Zabuza had listened. Had heard that conversation, Haku calling himself worthless and the girl highlighting Zabuza's hypocrisy with just the bare facts. And she didn't even do it to subvert Haku, either. Just to reassure him.

She'd framed Zabuza's demands for Haku to do what he himself couldn't as an attempt to protect Haku, which was horseshit. Zabuza doesn't deserve that much credit.

"She didn't know what she was talking about," Zabuza says.

"I know." Haku glances at Zabuza front under his lashes, a particular expression Zabuza hasn't seen from him since their first few months together, when Haku was still flinching at ever sudden movement. He's taken the hunter nin mask back out, but Zabuza's not sure what to make of that, really. Trying to hide? Trying to show he's ready to move on to the next task? Trying to ask if he'll still be going with Zabuza, without actually having to ask?

Zabuza is kind of shit at this emotions thing, and if Haku puts that damn mask on he'll never muddle through the conversation he guesses they actually have to fucking have now.

"I wouldn't have been able to kill the shinobi who was wearing this mask if it hadn't been to protect you," Haku says. "But you were in danger, so I didn't hesitate to follow your order. Killing him was an easy choice." He turns the mask over; he's probably looking at the numbers etched there. Identification for the ninja who'd last worn it. All the hunter-nin masks are identical, so everyone has to mark their ID on their mask.

It's the closest to a name that Haku would have for the hunter-nin he'd killed, although Zabuza had actually recognized the guy after they'd taken the mask off of him.

" _What_ order?" Zabuza grumbles. "I thought you'd done the _smart_ thing and left already. Saved yourself."

Haku looks up at him. "What?" he asks — genuine surprise. And then: "Where would I have _gone_? Where would have been safe?"

Anywhere. Anywhere would probably have been more safe than _with Zabuza_ once they got out of Land of Water. Haku still isn't in any Bingo Books, and Haku doesn't want to save Kiri from itself. He could just... leave.

There are a few minutes of agonizing silence. Haku doesn't break them, doesn't smooth things over, doesn't do the work of moving them back into familiar territory with each other by apologizing or even changing the topic. Because things have changed, Zabuza supposes. Like he always knew they would.

"That Nara girl was full of shit because Leaf ninja are always believing the best in each other and hugging it out and whatever." Zabuza gestures back in the direction of the bridge, to indicate all the weird, friendly camaraderie they'd just left behind. "She gave me too much fucking credit. I taught you what I taught you because that's what I was taught. How I learned. How things are. But the village was all kinds of fucked up and so am I. Maybe you should just... throw out whatever crap you don't like. I was always better at stabbing people than philosophy."

"Zabuza-sama—" Haku starts, but his voice is sounding a _little_ watery and if he starts _crying_ then Zabuza is going to absolutely lose it.

"Yeah, I'm not done," Zabuza says, waving a hand to shut the kid up. "You think I didn't hear you asking to die? Un-fucking-acceptable. Knock that shit off. I didn't want you dying fighting hunter-nin when you were ten and I don't want you dying against sentimental Leaf ninja now, got it? Save your own skin next time."

"Ah..." Haku's face has lost its tension, and now he smiles at Zabuza. "I think that's the first thing I'm going to throw out, Zabuza-sama. Naruto-kun says the individual isn't supposed to put himself over his team."

" _Great,_ their flavor of suicidal idealism has really rubbed off on you. Get over here and help me with whatever the hell Hatake did to my shoulder."


	2. we became what we become

**we became what we become**

 _That we all wanted to be something_  
 _That we all became something_  
 _And it might not be the shit we once thought we'd be when we were kids, but something is still something  
And like some cats say: something is better than nothing_

 _— "Here I Am" by Anis Mojgani_

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* * *

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In Kiri, Mei says: "Good riddance."

Like any real fight involving Kiri ninja, the fight against Yagura had taken them down to the shore and then out onto the water. What's left of Yagura's body has sunk into the ocean, never to bother anyone again.

The black sand beaches and high cliffs stretch out behind them, littered with lesser enemies than the one they've just put down and allies already starting to seal away corpses. Truthfully Mei had done mostly of the work against the Yondaime. Zabuza had watched her back and played support.

Zabuza is _good_ , sure, but he's a kenjutsu expert. Swords are not well-known for being useful against bijū, which makes them of limited use against jinchūriki, especially because Kubikiribōchō doesn't eat chakra or fling lightning.

Under their feet, the choppy waves still hold the unnatural sheen of the Sanbi's hallucinogenic mist, not yet faded.

"How pissed do you think the Daimyo will be if this contaminates the fish?" Zabuza asks.

Mei shrugs. "I'm not worried about it. Unless... you think someone's going to make _sure_ it's a problem?" She's looking at him. Carefully. _Too carefully_ , really, especially for someone who just got done killing a jinchūriki and couldn't possibly be prepared for another fight so soon.

Not that Zabuza thinks he could beat her, even right now. Not that he even _wants_ to.

"Subtle," Zabuza mutters. "Are we really going to do this?"

"It's been a long time coming," Mei says, voice level.

"I thought we'd already settled it," Zabuza says back, just as level.

Usually he'd scoff, turn away from her to watch the shore. Give her his back to show that they're comrades. That sort of thing had been important, with the rebellion. Being different from what they were fighting. Trusting each other. But with the way she's holding herself, the way she holds herself loosely and lets her body move with the rolling of the sea beneath them, ready to use the slightest of height advantages to start a fight... better not to. Just in case. They are Kiri ninja again, after all.

"Don't insult me," she demands. "I won't back down, you should know that by now."

"Yeah, I fucking know it. Everyone knows it. Look where you are. Look what you've _done_." Zabuza gestures back towards the shore, towards the village. Some parts of it are visibly smouldering stil, and they'd utterly obliterated the sea glass mosaic in the main plaza with their first attack on Yagura, but they've won. _Mei_ has won, even if she is being stupid about it.

Mei doesn't even glance at the village. "I wouldn't be the first bloodline user you've used. Not that I haven't appreciated the productive cease-fire, Zabuza, but everyone knows you want to be Mizukage. It was always going to come to this."

"First, Haku is my _student_ ," Zabuza growls at her. "Second, stop being a paranoid idiot, _Mizukage-sama_."

Mei actually jerks, like addressing her by the title she rightfully earned about ten minutes ago is a shock.

"No one wants me to lead the village," he tells her bluntly. "Not even Haku, and that kid has supported me through some _truly_ shitty plans. _I_ don't even want me leading the village, for fuck's sake. I just want it to change. That's what I've always wanted."

He kind of wishes they weren't on the water, because he can't lay Kubikiribōchō down here without working his chakra control very carefully over the surface of the water and he doesn't have the energy or attention for that. Instead he slings it over his back and the magnet on his harness strap catches and holds it.

"If you think I have to die to complete the change, then fine. I said I'd follow your orders when I joined your rebellion and I fucking meant it. But you should probably send me out to die doing something useful so you have a nice lie to tell Haku, and that means we should wait until you've got the hat on your head."

Zabuza's not certain, when he stops speaking, that Mei's really going to accept that as the truth that it is — bitterly, Zabuza supposes he should have expected this level of distrust, given that his first and only effective social change for Kiri involved slaughtering more than a hundred kids to make a point — but she does eventually relax. As much as one can in the middle of seizing control of a Hidden Village, anyway.

"I don't know," she says, thoughtful. "I like how it sounds when you address me so respectfully. Do it again."

They turn towards Kirigakure together.

"Shut up, Godaime-sama," Zabuza mutters.

.

* * *

.

In Kiri, Haku says: "No, you both did very well."

Yoro sniffs. "We _lost_."

"Zabuza-sensei has been so _grumpy_ ," Shiku adds.

"It's hard to see, but he's very proud of you. He's..." Haku trails off, reconsidering what he was about to tell them. Lamely, he finishes, "...just a grumpy person."

Yoro and Shiku don't exactly look skeptical (Zabuza _is_ frequently grumpy) but they're not as easily duped as civilian children of the same age would be. Haku's attempt to explain without explaining won't satisfy them.

"You lost, too," Shiku points out.

Haku is silent for a moment, considering his options. Really, lying to them — treating them like the children he had met while traveling with Zabuza — probably isn't the right call. They're young, but they're genin. Ninja. Haku isn't directly their teacher by any stretch of the imagination, but he is their senpai. He shouldn't let them think martial success is the only kind one can have.

"Winning all of our fights was never really the goal," Haku says eventually. "Kiri had to look strong, yes, but... we achieved something much more important than actually winning.

"Remember the way people looked at us when we arrived?" He asks them "Remember how different it was when we left?"

He walks them through the exam from their arrival in the village to their departure.

Yoro breaks in at one point to ask, "But was sitting with them and having snacks and stuff really that weird? I thought Cloud was just really mean and rude."

"You said Shikako-san and Sasuke-san are your friends, it's not weird to sit with friends," Shiku says.

They're so young. So terribly, wonderfully young.

"They are my friends," Haku says. "But letting you sit in the middle of their group was a show of trust. A show of our strong alliance."

Both girls eye him.

Shiku asks, "So was them letting you put your ice on them a big deal, too?"

"I thought you were flirting with her," Yoro mutters. "But I guess that woulda been a bad time for it."

"I was just trying to make her feel better," Haku says. "But a Konoha ninja being willing to be crowned with my ice was certainly notable to anyone watching, yes. As notable as Shikako being willing to step onto Sabaku no Gaara's sand after their match."

"Seeing her swallowed up like that was scary," Yoro says.

They hadn't even allowed the twins to hear any of the stories about Sand's jinchūriki, and probably for the better.

"It was," Haku acknowledges. He had been sitting next to Yamanaka Ino and she'd muttered a quiet _no_ when the sand had grabbed Shikako, pulled her in, disappeared her from the sky.

But even worse had been that evening, after the fight. Zabuza-sama and Mei-sama coming back from investigating the explosion and explaining to him and Chojuro in quiet tones that one of the Grass factions had tried to kidnap Nara Shikako.

Of course Zabuza has been in a bad mood since then. _Haku_ has been in a bad mood since then.

Now that they're back in Kiri, Haku expects that Zabuza will be plenty distracted by returning to lessons with the Academy students and ironing out problems that had been highlighted in himself, Chojuro, and the twins. And he'll probably never directly address the twins' anxiety about their performance... because he knows that Haku will do it, honestly. He's lazy and afraid Yoro and Shiku might cry.

Haku tells the girls as much about the alliance with Leaf and Sand as he can, everything that isn't above their security level, and concludes, "The important part about the exam is that we showed well, made a good impression, and will have many more clients willing to hire us and even come to our exam next year when you compete again."

Shiku huffs a sigh. "We'll _still_ be younger than everyone then," she says.

"We'll probably get beat again," Yoro says. "But it's _dumb_ we gotta fight alone, anyway!"

"What we should do is get a third teammate like the Leaf nin have!" Shiku gives several punching and and a spinning kick to the air in her path that vaguely mimic Rock Lee's moveset.

"Yeah!" Yoro jabs the air in front her with her hands folded into the strange four-fingered folded-thumb strike of the Hyūga Jyūken.

Haku stifles a giggle. "Teamwork is very important, and will serve you well in the field," he says. "But we'll be working much more on your individual skills so fighting alone is less... _dumb_."

The twins groan at the thought of more individual training, and Haku knows they'll probably switch around as much as possible to try and dupe whichever teacher has time for them. It's good practice, although it will be awhile before they can fool anyone.

"That's for later," Haku soothes them. "For now... we have some time off. Did I tell you about the water fight Zabuza-sama and I had with Team 7?"

"Uh, we heard you maybe tried to kill them when you met them," Shiku says.

Yoro says, "Which is pretty rude."

"It was business," Haku says easily. It clearly doesn't bother Team 7 anymore. They'd stopped caring seemingly the moment Gatō had shown up. "No, this was after — I could tell you, but I thought maybe we should go find Zabuza-sama and have a physical demonstration."

Yoro whines, "If we have the day off why are you trying to get us to _train?_ "

"Oh, it's not training," Haku says. "You'll see."

.

* * *

.

In Kiri, Shikako says: "This is Haku—"

And of course Haku can see the writing on the wall clearly, he's not an idiot. He steps forward as if on cue and bows to the Sanbi like he's meeting an honored guest. He says to Shikako, "Any friend of yours is a friend of mine," and then to the Sanbi, "I am pleased to meet you."

The crazy thing is that Mei actually gets the impression that he _means_ it. That the endorsement of these two Leaf ninja is the only thing Haku needs to get on board with the Sanbi's personhood.

His report of the twenty-three step handshake he'd done with the Leaf and Sand genin in the mess hall at the Grass exams had been surprising enough; Mei hadn't even heard much about the encounter in Wave before then, so she'd been blindsided. But even now that she knows, even after seeing Haku politely and carefully _spar_ with the two Hyūga and a Leaf weapons mistress during the Grass tournament, even knowing their chances at an alliance with Leaf and Sand are almost entirely built around Haku's connection with a trio of Leaf genin...

It's still incredible to watch. It's so genuine — Haku has been open about that. He connected with them, and sees no reason why his affiliation with the village should reasonably conflict with that friendship.

"What if you're on the opposite side of a contract from them?" Mei had asked.

"I expect we'll have an enjoyable time testing each other," Haku had replied serenely. "And if the alliance holds, it won't ever be much of a problem. But it isn't as if we've never been on opposing sides before.

Naturalizing ninja born and raised outside the village is a headache and a half, especially when they're as skilled as Haku, but Mei sees at every turn signs that it's worked with Haku.

In this case, he turns and begins to rattle off a long, _long_ list of introductions, many of them for ninja Mei was unaware Haku had ever met. Several of the lower ranked ninja stand up a little straighter when Haku accurately and casually introduces them.

With Haku's example of how well an outsider can blend into her forces, and the Leaf and Sand contingents looking on, each of them frightfully friendly in their own ways, how could Mei do anything but smile, call the Sanbi by name, and invite him to her wedding?

Killing Isobu had been nothing personal, after all, and he really adds to the ambiance of the wedding ceremony. Mei has always wanted to be a wife, of course, but it wouldn't do for people to forget everything else she is.

In the brief pause between the end of the ceremony and the beginning of the reception, Mei has time to check in with Ao, who's been carefully keeping his distance to keep from possibly upsetting the Leaf contingent.

"We'll have to have a team start work on stabilizing the cliff that the Sanbi hit as soon as all of our guests leave," Ao reports. "Evacuation of all buildings near the edge of the cliffs started immediately."

"And the water?"

Ao does that tilt of his head that he does that means the stolen Byakugan behind his eyepatch is activated. "The whole surface of the ocean is glowing, like algae," Ao says. "It didn't do that when you killed the Yagura — must because it's just sitting there. The Kazekage is loitering nearby."

Mei purses her lips. "I need Haku with me for the reception. Go relieve him. Be _polite_ , Ao, and _don't_ mention anything that might insult them, including Shunshin no Shisui."

He gives her a surprised look, and Mei only barely keeps from huffing in exasperation.

"Of course I remember that, and of course I know you want to test the last Uchiha to compare him with his dead cousin," she says, patiently. "And I'm telling you, _don't_. With any luck they don't even know about your eye. Keep it that way. Be anonymous."

"Yes, Mizukage-sama," Ao says, a bit stiffly but not with any real resistance. He goes to get Haku.

"I would have been happy to keep Isobu company," Haku tells her as they head towards the reception, Zabuza grumbling all the while about _more diplomacy does it ever end, Mei, I can't take it, why did you schedule things like this_.

"I'm sure," Mei says. "But I need you here." It's important that Haku get all the right introductions — an old bitter rebel like Mei can't stay Mizukage _forever_ after all.

.

* * *

.

In Kiri, Zabuza says, "No."

Mei doesn't look at him, not even a flick of her eyes in his direction. That's fair — right now, in this room, despite the fact that the cleanup from the wedding is still happening down on the beach, Zabuza isn't her husband. He's her shinobi, just the Head of the Academy. She doesn't actually have to take his opinion into account; she didn't even have to let him into the room for this conversation.

Still.

"I don't like it," Zabuza adds. He knows he probably sounds like one of his pre-genin in a good, determined sulk, but it's just him and Mei and Haku in the room.

Granted, back in the day a good Kiri nin wouldn't have so much as frowned at his own wife and student without a half-dozen ulterior motives for showing emotion. Especially not a wife ranked above him and a student who's already made jōnin and keeps distinguishing himself politically. But, as Mei keeps saying, if they want Kiri to change they have to change from the top down.

"It isn't your choice, Zabuza-sama," Haku says. _He's_ looking at Zabuza, of course, his face just as damn expressive as it's always been, since he was a child. His eyes are sympathetic, brows pulled up to flash those understanding doe eyes at Zabuza, but the set of his mouth is firm.

"That doesn't mean I have to _like it_ ," Zabuza grumbles. "It's not the _worst_ thing we've ever thought to do with the Sanbi, but that's a bar so low a civilian could step over it."

 _Now_ Mei looks at him. She says, "Stop that. You know better."

Zabuza scowls at her. " _Fine,_ " he says. "So low that _Iwa nin_ couldn't crawl _under_ it. Are they still fair game? That old bastard Ōnoki was no fucking help."

Civilians looking to live in Kiri should probably _know_ that they can't physically keep up with ninja and get over it, but whatever. Civilians are _Mei's_ problem. Zabuza just has to keep his mouth shut about them enough to fall in line with her whole culture shift plan and not end up sent on endless D- and C-ranks like Muteki Sokuteki had been, running around after civilians to 'gain perspective' on them. Mei had made it clear before they even announced the marriage that being her husband would mean being held to _higher_ standards, not _lower_ standards. She'd probably enjoy the hell out of making him fetch and carry for civilian grandmothers for a couple weeks.

Mei gives him that damn sly smile of hers, the same one she gets after she covers a particularly pesky enemy in lava. The same one she gave him when she invited the Sanbi to their wedding. She says, "We didn't invite Ōnoki the Fencesitter to make him into an ally."

She's so dangerous. Zabuza loves it.

"What _is_ the worst thing we've done with Isobu?" Haku asks. He looks kind of worried about it — soft hearted thing that he is — but Zabuza is a little more focused on the way he so casually says _we_. Everytime Zabuza turns around lately he's been surprised by how easily Haku has bought into the village.

"Some idiot decided we should try to unleash it on Leaf in the Third War," Zabuza says. "As if they wouldn't have sealed the damn thing up and turned it back against us in about five minutes." As if they wouldn't have pulled out some kind of vengeful, impossible bullshit to unleash on Kiri in return.

"Hm," Haku says, looking thoughtful.

"Don't ask any of the Leaf ninja about it," Zabuza tells him. The report is a little vague about what exactly had gone down with Kakashi during that whole mess, since anyone close enough to know for sure had ended up _very_ dead shortly after, but reminding him about it would probably be a mistake.

Haku nods obediently, but Zabuza knows he might still do it, if he finds time alone with that Nara girl. That's probably fine. Haku also says, "That's something else that's going to have to change."

Zabuza looks at him blankly.

"You can't keep calling Isobu _it_ , shishō," Haku says patiently. "He obviously has feelings. He is not a weapon. Not our tool. Shikako promised we would be his friends and he attended your wedding."

Mei says, "Excellent point. He's our comrade now. Dehumanising him—" She pauses. "Dehumanising...?"

They all stare at each other.

"...calling him 'it' is wrong," Mei finishes, abandoning the search for a better word than 'dehumanize'.

"I didn't mean it that way." Zabuza crosses his arms. He really hadn't. That was just... how everyone usually talked about bijū. "Anyway, someone else should be jinchūriki. Not that you're a bad choice, Haku, but it'll just make you a target."

"I'm a jōnin of Kirigakure," Haku says. "And I've been defeated twice by jinchūriki — easily, even, given that the Kazekage was holding back strength in reserve during our bout. Hoshigaki Kisame is unlikely to return. Kurosuki Raiga is almost certainly dead. For Kiri to be strong..."

Mei is leaning back in her chair, knowing that Haku will argue him around more effectively than she ever could. Damn them both. Haku is right and Zabuza hates it.

Haku must sense his reluctant acceptance, because he smiles and adds, "Besides, I'll be in good company. I've enjoyed the Kazekage's company and Naruto-kun is wonderful. He'll probably be excited."

"Hmm," Mei says. She's giving Haku that sharp smile again, pleased like a cat that knows where its next meal will come from. "Yes, I think you'll be in very good company, when you put it that way."

And the thing is: of course Zabuza hasn't missed that Mei is already scoping out potential Rokudaime candidates.

He's not blind, first of all, and second _he's_ been the one who's had to have all those conversations that start _Darling, what do you think of...?_ and end with the name of someone Haku's age or younger who's showing promise. And Haku is damn well the best out of all of them, hands down.

But it still hits Zabuza like an enraged boss summons that it's almost certain that Haku will be Mizukage some day. In the near future, potentially, because Mei's always spoken of trying to prepare the village for younger leadership, untouched by the Mist she and Zabuza grew up in, and...

Zabuza can see it. Haku standing next to Sabaku no Gaara, both of them in their formal Kage robes. And maybe Uzumaki Naruto, too, or Nara Shikako, or even Uchiha Sasuke. One of them, and the other two at the Hokage's back.

Like salt in the air before you even see the ocean, Zabuza can taste it. An alliance that could last decades. Time enough for Kirigakure to really recover. It certainly won't be perfect, they won't be young and idealistic forever — even in Kiri everyone knows that Senju Hashirama and Uchiha Madara eventually split over irreconcilable differences — but it could be great while it lasts.

" _Fine,_ " Zabuza says, as if he has any say at all in this, as if he isn't just hurtling uncontrollably towards a seemingly inevitable, bright future. "But I want a real introduction before that turtle goes inside you."

"Only if you promise not to be mean to him," Haku says serenely. "He's sensitive."

"Of course he is," Zabuza mutters to himself.

"Treat him like one of your pre-genin," Mei suggests. She sounds terribly amused.

It's useless to protest, but — "They're not _my_ pre-genin."

"Sure they are," Mei says. "They all call you sensei. It's adorable. Go have your talk with Isobu-san; the sealing will be happening tonight."

He and Haku leave. On the way to see the bijū, Haku says, "Don't worry. I already told him all about you and he's excited to be your friend."

Zabuza groans. "Haku—"

"He asked if _he_ can call you 'sensei' too."

" _Haku—"_

"I told him yes."

"HAKU!"

.

* * *

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OC notes: The briefly mentioned Muteki Sokuteki (霧笛 足笛) is "Foghorn Leghorn" an American cartoon character from the Looney Toons. There's honestly no reason for this except that I thought it was really funny.


End file.
